Friday, 7 October 2011

FanFiction Review: A Party to Die for

Back again, bitches! I needed a break from all those fuckin' fanfics. Today is special, as in, it's by...

harpseal2. Yep, I created this vile shit. In an attempt to phase one of my former-Steam-friends. It didn't.

Warning: This fic contains Blood, Gore, Rape, Death, Scat, Torture and Child Abuse

A Party to Die for - By harpseal2 - World's Greatest L4D2 player, and with large amounts of help from MiseryLovesCompany - The best instant boredom cure around
It was a marvellous day in Ponyville. The sun was shining and the birds were chirpping happily. They heard something off in the distance. They flew away to get out of trouble as an orange earth pony with a cowgirl hat and a rainbow-haired sky blue pegasus raced down the countryside.
And I also RACED away from this fanfic.

And for the members joining us right now, here's the characters:

Rainbow Dash

Pinkie Pie


Ah'll bet you can't beat me! Ah'm faster than yew!" Applejack yelled over the sound of the wind rushing as they ran.
"Hah! I could beat you with my eyes closed!" Rainbow Dash replied.
They were rushing to a certain place. Sugarcube Corner, where their friend, Pinkie Pie, organised a party, just for them. They galloped through the town, rushing to get to Pinkie's house. They knocked over a fruit stand. They came to a sliding halt when they reached their destination. Just as they arrived, the door swug open, and the energetic pink party pony bounced outside to meet her friends.
Pinkie is reminding me of Tigger right now.

 "Omigosh, you're here! I've been waiting so long I couldn't keep still! Come inside!" She greeted in her upbeat manner.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were puffing from the run. With her last bit of strength, Applejack said, "Yew win. Fair and square."
"HAHA! I BEAT YOU AGAIN! AHAHA!" Dashie yelled with new-found energy, "I'm still better than you!"
Pinkie lead them up to her room. The trio rested on Pinkie's matress. 
And they all fucked.

 "So what did you invite us over for?" Dash asked Pinkie.
"Oh, I thought we could have a different kinda fun!" Pinkie replied.
"Like, what kind of... fun?"

"Meditation fun!"
So, to make her friend happy, Applejack and Dashie started trying to meditate. Dash couldn't keep still.
"Why are we doing this?" She asked Pinkie.
"I need to meditate every day silly!"Pinkie replied.
"Because I said so niggah"

No-one questions the fucking pink pony.

"Because when your life is a non-stop party, your heart can beat too fast and you could die! This helps calm me downnnn."
So they meditated for a full hour. Then Pinkie got up and rushed over to her music player. Some dubsteppy or techno music started playing through it.
"It's time to shake our flanks, girls!" Pinkie said, dancing.
Dashie and Applejack tried to dance like Pinkie, but they ended up falling into a big pile. So they got up and started dancing their way. Dash was break dancing and Applejack was doing a good old fasioned square dance.

 15 minutes later, the music died down. Pinkie was bouncing up and down like usual as she announce her intentions.
"Let's play a game!" Pinkie said.
They gathered around Pinkie.
"It's called Let's fuck!"

 Pinkie launched herself onto Rainbow Dash. Dash's mouth opened in shock and then Pinkie gave her a kiss. Pinkie's tongue invaded the non-willing pegasus' mouth. Then she leaped off Dash and started licking around her vulva. A small bead of sweat formed on Dash's face. Applejack stood their. She had no idea as to what she should do. Then, an idea flashed through her head. A wicked smile spread across her face. What if she helped Pinkie?
"INCOMIN'!" She yelled, about to position her flank over Dashie's mouth.
"NO NO NO NO!" Dash yelled in despair.
Friendship is magic!

Then, as if completely ignoring her pleads for mercy, Applejack started pooping. The turd dropped into the back of Dash's throat. She almost threw up, the fecal matter triggering her gag reflex. She had no choice but to swallow. Dash coughed up some of the shit. Then, AJ started peeing on her. Dash yelled at the top of her voice.
Meanwhile, an orange coated Pegasi heard a scream from Pinkie's house. She looked at the time. 9:24 pm. She would have usually brushed it off as nothing. Pinkie loved screaming. But she rushed out her door. She could tell it wasn't Pinkie. It sounded like...RAINBOW DASH?! Scootaloo was hyperventelating. Dashie was being hurt! She was rushing. She smashed through the door, ignoring the glass piercing her skin. She ran up the stairs, into Pinkie's room. There, she saw the sight of her life.
A big juicy sandwich?

"HELP ME SCOOALOO!" Dash yelled, as she took sight of the innocent filly.
Scootaloo stood still. She was shocked. She could see Applebloom's big sister...PEEING on her idol. Unfortunatly, Applejack saw Scootaloo. She hopped off the Sky blue Pegasi and tackled the Scootaloo.
Nope, a big juicy SHIT sandwich.

"Y'know, Ah've always thought yew were kinda hawt," Applejack whispered into her ear.
And with that, she shoved her hoof right up Scootaloo's vagina. Scootaloo screamed in pain as her hymen broke as if it were paper. Her vagina was streched too much. She mouthed a scream. She couldn't talk. Well, until Applejack put another hoof in. That was it. Scootaloo found her voice. She erupted a scream so loud, it would wake all of Ponyville. And no-one cared. The fragile layer of flesh above her pussy ripped and blood flowed. Applejack felt pleased, and removed her hooves. But she wanted...more. She held Scoots down and lifted her back hoof up above her head. Then, with all her might, smashed her powerful leg down.
Man, I didn't know I was so fucked up

My brain hurts.

 Rainbow Dash cried. Her friend, Scootaloo, of all ponies, was screaming in pain. She wished for the never-ending melody of screams to stop. Then, all of a sudden, with a crack, they did. She looked over. Scootaloo's jawbone was in pieces.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!" Dash yelled with all her energy. "Why? WHHHY?!"
"Shut up! For fuck's sake! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Pinkie yelled.
Dash obeyed as Pinkie got really pissed.
"Okay, you've fucked up this time!" Pinkie said angrily.
Anyone in the mood for some music?

She dropped back down and started biting Dashie's clit. Hard. Dash cried out. Pinkie started biting her lower lips. Dash was crying. It's as if Pinkie was trying to eat them. She bit down too hard. Dash could feel blood flowing from her vulva. She breathed in and yelled for help as loud as she could.
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Pinkie yelled.
Pinkie lost it. She picked up a knife and stabbed it into Dash. Dash tried to yell, but she had lost her voice. Dash couldn't yell. All she could do was cough up blood. Pinkie started cutting off skin, revealing Dash's organs. She looked around for a part. She couldn't find any so she just dived in and started eating whatever organ her tounge touched. Dash's chest was rising and descending rapidly. She mouthed another scream as Pinkie bit on an intestine. Then, she smashed her hoof through Dashie's chest and pulled out her beating heart.
Pinkie Pie? I didn't know you were an Aztec!

 She proceeded to take a bite out of it and spat the foul tasting object onto Dashie's face. She was dead. Nothing could help the poor sky-blue pegasus anymore.
Bullshit. What about Plot Twists?

Scootaloo tried to crawl to her now-gone idol. Applejack stomped on her front leg protruding out. Pinkie heard the crack and looked over. Applejack was beating the crap out of Scootaloo. Pinkie jumped over and gave AJ a knock-out punch. Pinkie was standing over Scootaloo.
"Why won't Applejack learn?" Pinkie said slyly,"You should get a job over and done with, instead of prolonging it."
And with that, Pinkie's hind legs broke through Scootaloo's innocent little skull, instantly killing her.

You guys need a break from that shit.

Here's some music that's appropriate

Anyway, moving on.

When Applejack awoke, she was tied to a table. Pinkie walked into a small spot of light above the two.
"Hello, my friend." Pinkie said, sounding unlike her old-self at all. "We're in my basement, so we'll be all alone."
"Whai-whaat-what's happenin'?" Applejack said worriedly.
"You rudely interrupted while I was raping Dashie!" Pinkie said, angrily, "And now, I'mma teach you a lesson you'll never forget!"
Applejack was sweating. Pinkie walked over to her, holding a sharp object. She was at Applejack's flank. Suddenly, she thrusted the knife into Applejack's Cutie mark, and started cutting. Applejack was yelling, trying to wriggle her way out of the bonds. But, they would not loosen.
I am such an asshole for writing this.

 "Don't try AJ, you'll never escape me." Pinkie said, pulling off AJ's cutie marks and chucking them away.
Pinkie pulled out a mallet, and went over to Applejack's hind legs. She pulled it over her head, and smashed it down as hard as she could. The leg she had smashed was not only broken, but hanging on only by a string of skin. Pinkie laughed and moved to the other leg.
"No, Pinkie, you godda stop!" Applejack said, through the tears of pain dripping down her face.
Pinkie ignored Applejack and smashed the hammer down, breaking the leg off entirely. Applejack emitted yet another yell.
Applejack kept her mouth shut. Then Pinkie picked up some nails. She got the mallet again and held it above the nail. Then, she lightly tapped, with enough force to puncture AJ's skin. She did that with several others. She then attached wire to them, and wired it up to a generator.
"Oh gawsh no!" AJ said.

 Pinkie pulled the switch. Thousands of volts surged through the wires. AJ was wriething in her bonds, wait for it to stop. Pinkie increased the voltage. AJ's body couldn't take anymore. Her body exploded into a bloody mass of organs and brain matter. The bang it had created somehow brought Pinkie to her senses. She started crying. She had cruely killed Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo and Applejack. She couldn't take the guilt. She walked over to the table, and picked up two knives. She put them in her eye socket. An unearthly scream erupted from the area she was in. She ran up to a wall and banged the knives in further, killing her instantly. She fell onto a table with a circular saw, and her limp hoof pressed the activate button. The saw started moving towards her head, as Twilight Sparkle smashed through the door. The saw hit her head and sawed through it as if it were glass. No more Pinkie Pie.

Twilight solemnly walked through the grave yard, with 4 bundles of flowers. She stopped at the resting place of four unforgetable names. A tear dropped from her eye. She placed the flowers over the graves. Then she walked out. Those graves weren't just graves in her eyes. Those were her friends. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Scootaloo, and worst of all, Pinkie Pie.
I'm a fucked up son of bitch, ain't I?


  1. This was... something.
    Really, what the hell is going on in your head.

  2. I don't know if I should be worried about you or about me checking this blog almost daily...

  3. Alvinsaur: You hurt my feelings :(

  4. Funny. Made me laugh more than Cupcakes. Though this was definitely more well written than Cupcakes.

  5. harpseal2: I did not mean it in that way! D: I am truthfully sorry! LOVE AND TOLERATION. -glomps-

  6. Definite Cupcakes shout-outs in that thar second part.

    I liked the part where everything.

    Just remember, when one stares into the abyss, the abyss will stare back into you.

  7. Parts of the story were good, bringing the surge of enjoyment from applejack to the forefront was an interesting development and could have been expanded upon. However, an important part of a truly horrific fanfic like this is in its detail, which I found to be rather light. the action itself had little impact, and I'd have liked to see it more visceral to lend a deeper gravity to the situation.
    The second point I'd like to bring up is perspective. the change of perspective from that of the victim to that of the villain is a novel change, and one with merit, so I would not recommend changing it, however I would recommend more interpretation of the victims' thought processes, whether from their own perspective, the perspective of a 3rd person narrator, or even from the perspective of the villain.
    Despite these problems it was still a good attempt, ultimately just a bit too short in my opinion.

  8. Yes, you are fucked up son of a beeyetch.
    No offence.

  9. How the fuck do you come up with this shit. I have written some real fucked up shit but it pales in comparison to this story in particular.

  10. LOL. APPLEJACK HAD THAT COMING. *spits onto applejacks lifeless body parts*

    It looks like you could say Applejack...

    Was one ripe apple.


  11. dear god... what have i just read

  12. Ok cupcakes with a quicker plot but 4 deaths and now I cry my self to sleep
    what is this world coming to

  13. Applejack would not do that to rainbow dash and scootaloo to make it worse it should go
    Applejack. Stood there in shock as pinkie rapped rainbow dash not sure what she was looking at
    "P-Pinkie"applejack said shaking
    She could tell that rainbow dash was not enjoying it
    She ran towards the door as she got near it it swung open knocking her out
    Scootaloo walked in not knowing she hurt applejack she saw pinkie rapping dash screamed in horror pinkie turned to the ear piercing noise
    "I can't have a wittness especially foal"pinkie thought
    She leaped over to scootaloo Sue tumbles to the ground in fear
    "Tsk tsk tsk,you could of lived if just didn't barge in"pinkie said
    then she busted her skull with her back legs killing her in a matter of seconds

    Then applejack death would be worst because she is innocent
    (Just throwing that out there)

    1. misfits are fuckin shit

      go dig up her bones somewhere else, danzigfucker

  14. i fucking love the team fortress references! (nice fanfic thought) ^^