Wednesday, 28 September 2011

FanFiction Review: 2nd Gear Scootabuse!

Already?! Another fucking review?! This is harpseal2 here, and I have YET ANOTHER GOD-DAMN FIC! It's a Scootabuse one. So yeah, don't enjoy the mane course, motherfucker!

WARNING: This fic contains Violence, Emotional themes and Child Abuse.

For your pleasure, I'll give a link to a song. Unrelated, yes, but it's darn good.

And also, here's Scootaloo for those who've forgotten her.
Scootaloo playing with a shoe! So fuckin' cute!

"But must we go home, Applejack?"
No, stay all night and get abused.

"But of course you do, sugar cube! Apple Bloom is pretty tired-"
Of course before Applejack could finish, she was interrupted by her younger sister. She nudged Applejack's orange flank in a futile attempt to dissuade her.
The author of this fic is Orangelinedevil, on So you have an ass to kick when you've read this.

"I know y'all have tons of 'crusading' to do, but you won't find your cutie mark if y'all are all tired running around in the middle of the night. Sweetie Belle, knowing Rarity, she could use your help on one of those dresses she's always working so hard on. Not to mention me an' Apple Bloom here have gotta check some of the trees before we go in for the night."
There was a deliberate cough and they all turned around to look at Scootaloo. Yes, the poor little Pegasus pony was the only one without an older sister… or brother. In fact, no one was even sure what type of family that she had. Two other Pegasus ponies had been seen at her house, but that was very rarely. In fact, most of Ponyville thought she lived all alone in a house on top of a hill on the edge of town. It was pretty much a mystery to everyone, even Mayor and Granny Smith didn't seem to know and with them being two of the oldest ponies in town, there wasn't much they didn't know. Seemingly accepting her own unimportance, Scootaloo dragged her hooves as she left the farm.

Back on the farm, Applejack and Apple Bloom were doing what they did every night. They checked to trees to see which ones would be picked the next day and which one should be left to grow a little longer. It was usually a silent process, but tonight, Applejack had some questions for her energetic younger sister.
"Apple Bloom, what's with your friend Scootaloo? Sure she seems all nice and fun like the rest of y'all, but I feel like somethin' ain't right with her. Maybe she's having trouble at home or somethin'?"
Apple Bloom didn't answer. She merely looked down and solemnly kicked the trunk of the tree they were checking. Apple Bloom loved Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo like sisters, but there was something wrong with the latter's family.
This is the part where shit hits the fan.

Apple Bloom was always told by Scootaloo not to visit her at home. Scootaloo always came to her and Sweetie Belle. But one day, she didn't show up for a day of adventuring and whatnot. They weren't sure why they were always told to avoid her house, but they did it because Scootaloo seemed so serious about it. But on that particular day, they went to pick her up and see why she was so late. Scootaloo's house wasn't in town like everyone else's. It was located on a dirt road that forked into two directions. One road went to an even scarier entrance to the Everfree forest and another was the long way to another far away pony town. Scootaloo's home was on the top of a tall and misshapen dirt hill.
I'm glad I'm not the only person that uses "whatnot."

 As if the eerie hill weren't bad enough, the house on top of it looked like it had been plowed through by Big Mac. The wood was partially rotten, it had holes in it, and was falling off in places. The windows were covered in years of grime, and the porch had broken stairs and several planks of wood missing. Apple Bloom was actually quite scared, but fear was not supposed to stop a Cutie Mark Crusader from anything! With a sudden uprising of courage, she began walking up the hill when sudden yelling made her stop. She couldn't hear it clearly, but she did manage to hear the words 'dumb whore', 'weak winged loser', 'excerebrose filly', and even 'you fucking poltroon'
I've never mentioned this, but I never found Scootaloo as a chicken funny. Funny, Poltroon means Coward.

God, fuck my life.

Poor little Apple Bloom didn't know what most of these words were, but since they were yelled out in an angry tone, she knew that they couldn't have been nice. The yelling continued and there was the sound of a high pitched shriek, glass shattering, and someone being hit several times.
Her sudden courage had deserted her and she had a nauseating feeling in her stomach. She was debating whether or not she should turn around and come back later. Before she came to a decision, she door flew open and a familiar red scooter whizzed past her and flew down the crumbling stairs. Well, at least she knew that Scootaloo could come out and play.
I'm thinking of a writer who shall die in my hands. It's ORANGELINEDEVIL! HAHAHAHA!

 But still a bit curious, Apple Bloom stuck her head inside of the door. It was very dark but she could make out the shards of glass on the floor, the large indentions in the wall, and what appeared to be dried red paint stains everywhere. It smelled like urine, no sun shined through the dirty windows, and she say two sets of blood shot eyes looking into hers. Well, now she was too afraid to move. The two Pegasus ponies glared at her and one of them flew to the door in half an instant. Apple Bloom thought she was going to die as red eyes pierced her soul and steam came from large nostrils covered in some strange white substance. Luckily for her, the apparently enraged pony only slammed the door on her hoof. Now that this was over, Apple Bloom hopped down the hill on three hooves. She noticed that for some reason Scootaloo looked very tired, had some bandages on and had a bruise under her left eye. They all stood there in silence for about a minute before Sweetie Belle spoke up.
"Now that we're all here, how about we go and get our cutie marks?"
They all agreed and had yet another adventure filled day that turned up no results. Ponies all over were whispering about what went on in Scootaloo's home, but no one dared to ask her or investigate this themselves.
 To quote from Mike Shinoda: MOTHERFUCKER!

Applejack decided not to press the issue too much. Her little sister was sensitive at times and this didn't seem like the type of thing she would enjoy talking about. And when they finished, they went inside and silently chose not to speak of this again.
Even Rarity wondered about Scootaloo. So when Sweetie Belle came home, Rarity immediately put down dress the she was working on and intended to interrogate her younger sister. But interrogation and gossiping certainly weren't ladylike and to do something unladylike would have made her a massive hypocrite. So as much as she hated it, she could only speculate about what went on with Scootaloo behind closed doors.
Scootaloo always hated this time of day. Princess Celestia had lowered the sun and raised the moon so that meant that it was time for her to go home. Home…. She had to go back to the place where she was unloved, unwanted, and mistreated. She was usually speeding away on her scooter, but she wanted to make the trip as long and drawn out as possible. She was dragging the wheels behind her when she heard hooves heading towards her. She quickly turned around and saw no one. The street was deserted. The streetlights weren't on, no one was outside, and shadows seemed to dance in the moonlight. She saw something dash past her in the corner of her eye. She again turned around and saw nothing. She was on the verge of screaming for help when she saw a shadow loom behind her.

"I'm sorry, daddy! Please don't beat me!"
"Beat you? I wouldn't beat anyone, silly!"
It was only Pinkie Pie. Scootaloo was about to have a heart attack.
"Why aren't you at home? I'm sure your family misses you! I know my family misses me, but that rock farm was so boring and Ponyville is so fun! And Mr. and Mrs. Cake let me bake things all of the time! One time I tried to make an apple pie, but I burned it and then Applejack got mad and told me I was a disgrace to pie makers everywhere. And then…"
Scootaloo, taloo, taloo, where are you?

Pinkie Pie began yet another pointless ramble that was accompanied by bouncing up and down all around Scootaloo like something amazing had just happened. It was a good thing that she wasn't that bright sometimes.
"Yeah… Um, well I've gotta get home now, Pinkie Pie. I'm sure I'll see you tomorrow. If I can see…"
I would LOOOOVE to go home, to where I get abused constantly.

Scootaloo quickly scooted away until she realized where she was heading. She had done this several times before. Not like tonight would be any different. She dragged her hooves up the dirty hill and entered the ancient and decrepit building that she lived in. The familiar stench of dried blood and urine
Nick: Oh man, it smells awful in here. It smells like...piss.
Ellis: I think it smells kinda nice.
Nick: You're screwed up in the head, you know that?
attacked her nostrils as she was forced to take in a big breath. Once again, there was no food on the table for her. She looked around to see if anyone was home. Maybe they were passed out somewhere. She placed her scooter in the corner and began to head to her room where hopefully, she would be left alone for the night. She couldn't help but pass her parents' room where they were doing their nightly ritual.
What is this ritual? Planning how to beat your child?

The two adult Pegasus ponies were standing next to each other in front of a small glass table. There were two thin lines of white powder on the table with a razor blade next to it. First was her father. He slid his nostrils over the table and snorted in the powder and her mother followed suit. When it was all gone, they sat down and their wings began to twitch. Scootaloo watched for a while and she honestly hoped they had died.
So wait, they're snorting coke? And Scootaloo, stop with those naughty thoughs. 

Huge block of text now!

She figured they would just space out again. She wasn't sure if they knew if she was there, so she quietly made her way back to her room. She lay down on her bed and sleep quickly overtook her.
In her dreams, she was loved. In her dreams, her parents would all eat breakfast together, they would teach her to fly, and they would tell her how much they loved her. In her dreams, her family actually treated her like she was someone special and not just a burden. In her dreams, there was no pain. No beatings. She never saw her parents bite and club each other. Blood only came from minor scrapes and bruises when she played and not from taking a hoof to the face. In her dreams, she never feared going home. In her dreams, the floor wasn't shaking; her parents weren't hurting each other. In her dreams, her door wasn't kicked off of the hinges by a mad steed.
In her dreams, she wasn't kicked in the ribs and forced to wake up. This wasn't a nightmare even though she wished it was. This was all the sad reality. Her father had lost it once again. He angrily picked up his only daughter by the mane and flung into the wall. He was already strong but the drugs made him stronger. She hoped if she pretended she was knocked out, and then he would stop. Thankfully, it did. He left her there and she tried to fall asleep. This was nothing compared to the other nights. In fact, she felt that she had gotten off easily. As her eyes closed, she saw her mother walking towards her. She wanted to fly away, but she couldn't. In this dark room, she could only see a silhouette and red eyes that screamed with anger. Her mother raised her hooves over Scootaloo and brought them down on her flank. No point in trying to sleep now.
Over and over again she did this. Scootaloo tried to get up and move away, but she was met with a sharp kick to the face. As if this wasn't worse, her father came back in. He bit his wife's ear and blood dripped on the floor. But she wasn't going to take a beating like she was Scootaloo. She bucked up on her rear legs and assaulted the steed she had a child with… A child they both hated for an unknown reason. They seemed to fight for hours when in reality, it was only minutes. Scootaloo tried to make a dash for it, but her injured flanks could only let her go so fast. She stumbled and tried to go again, but she ran into a wall. She got up, only to be pinned back down by two sets of hooves. Her parents had stopped fighting each other and had turned their blind rage on their defenseless filly. Repeatedly, they stomped, kicked, and bit her. It was so unfair. What had she done to deserve this? And then from nowhere, her mother turned around and delivered two solid kick to the face of her husband. He fell over where he was assaulted by his mate over and over again. He was now bleeding copious amounts of blood from his mouth and his nostrils and it looked like his breathing had stopped.

Anyone in the mood for some pictures?

Scootaloo was praying that it was over, but it wasn't. She dragged her hooves and stood next to one of the gray windows. She wanted to move to the door, but she was too weak. And she was too weak to turn her head to see her mother flying towards her. She didn't see the large body come towards her and quickly turn around using the momentum to kick the small filly into the air and then use another kick to send her out the window and down the dusty hill. Every lump she hit sent her into the air and back down. With her soft young body beaten and filled with shards of dirty glass, Scootaloo had given up. She knew she was going to be beaten to death by her parents? But why was this happening? Why would they do this to her? What has she ever done wrong?
This shit actually makes me sad. Fuck, Scootaloo, why?

 She looked up towards the night time sky. The stars were so beautiful. They reminded her of all of her friends who loved her like a sister. Love… something she never felt when she was at home. Some stars made a tree and that reminded her of Apple Bloom. Other stars shined like jewels and that reminded her of Sweetie Belle. She barely managed to turn her head when she saw the body of a young Pegasus pony fly over her.
Scoot-a-loo634: HEY FGT I NED 2 B REVIV'D
Pegasi_Assasin: STFU
Angry_Mama!: I'M GONNA RAEP U
F*ckedUpFatherWithoutASpacebar: LolIsnortCoke!

"R-Rainbow Dash? Is that you? H… have you come to…?"
She couldn't finish her statement because her tongue was so badly cut from the constant kicks. She looked back at the terrible place where she was always beaten and saw her mother standing on top of the porch. Her hoof scraped the ground repeatedly and she charged. Scootaloo knew this was it. Her short life was going to be over before it even began. She with one eye completely swollen shut; she couldn't clearly see what was going to happen. Everything seemed to slow down for her. She saw her deranged mother leap into the air. She saw her rusted and jagged horseshoes aiming for her face. She saw the killing desire in her eyes. She saw another Pegasus pony fly at her mother and knock her down.

"Is that you…?"
Her mother screamed as she rolled down the hill leaving a trail of blood patches behind her.
There was a sudden clamoring as ponies surrounded the injured filly. That was all she saw before everything faded to black.

Sorry boys, I'm not very funny today. Too many fics, too little time. I'll try and be better after the break. Meanwhile, we'll have some pics (WARNING: Some are NSFW).

I hope I don't lose followers for that...

Scootaloo felt warm. It was like she was bathing in the sun. She saw her mother and father with eyes open and smiles on their faces as they hugged her. Then she saw them in front of the glass table breathing in the strange white powder. The screaming and the blood and the violence all surrounded her. She awoke in a cold sweat.
I'm stoned, bro.

She looked around as saw that she was in a bed. A clean one with soft linens and smelled of clean outside air… She looked around and saw she was in a room that wasn't hers. She tried to move, but then her body filled with pain. She was covered in bandages, had a patch over one eye and had a cast on her back legs and one of her wings.
"Well, Miss Scootaloo. It is good to see you're awake now. That was quite an ordeal that you went through."


The wounded filly turned her neck to see a pony wearing a white jacket and a head mirror.
"Where am I?"
"Well after that little incident, they brought you here to the hospital. You were barely alive, but luckily I managed to save you. But I couldn't save the other two though… it was really quite a tragedy. But I'm not the one you should be thanking. The Princess and her student were the ones that somehow knew you were in trouble."
The doctor smiled and walked out and left her alone. All alone… without any parents, that is how she would be. But all of those thoughts vanished when Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle walked in. Scootaloo would have bowed, but the whole gravely wounded thing kept her from doing it. Twilight Sparkle was the first one to speak.
"It was a real coincidence that we managed to find you when we did. After you were done talking to Pinkie Pie, I just happened to run into her. She told me about what you said and it seemed really out of character. So I wrote the Princess a letter about it and she came to investigate it right away. I don't like being the bearer of bad news, but what had happened was…"
Y'know, I'm suddenly thinking about how great L4D2 is.

As Scootaloo chose to accept death as her mother moved in to kill her, another Pegasus pony flew into her and sent her rolling down the hill. Apparently, the other pony flew off feeling its job was done. But Scootaloo was still unable to move. She still heard ragged breathing and could feel hateful eyes watching her.
"Rainbow Dash… why c-couldn't you me?"
Suddenly, there was the sound of several hooves that seemed to erupt from nowhere.
"Don't move! If you do, we will be forced to fire at you!"
Someone had called the Pony Police- Unicorn division. They were the ponies that specialized in using magic instead of brute force to solve deadly pony disputes. Eight ponies surrounded the insane mother pony with their horns aimed at her. Some of her wounds were bleeding heavily and she was foaming at the mouth. All of their horns glowed and they were ready to attack.

"Avada kedavra!"
One of the ponies got trigger happy and yelled a curse. Except nothing happened.
"What did we tell you about being stupid? This is why you shouldn't have joined the team! You're always doing something stupid like this!"
As the rookie pony was scolded by his superior, the mentally unfit pony flew towards the skies. Knowing that she was a danger to everyone, all eight of them fired fatal magic beams at her and she crashed to the ground. Of course the fall wasn't pretty. Her body seemed to fall apart as organs flew in all directions, bones stuck out where they shouldn't have and blood and guts doused the ponies that wanted to spectate. Scootaloo didn't know what was going and she didn't know why a bloodshot eye ball bounced in front of her and stayed there. Even after death, her mother's eyes still haunted her.
What? It was obvious! She was the Pegasus pedophile! See, look, she'll rape a child aaannnny second now!

Scootaloo was carefully picked up by a team of medics and taken to the nearest hospital.
"So… um… Your mother didn't quite make it."
Bringing bad news wasn't Twilight's specialty. Sure she told them all of Princess Luna's attack, but this was different. The life of a young filly was ruined.
"And they said that they couldn't find and congratulate the pony that saved you from her final attack. Everyone looked for clue, but all they found were muffins and letters to different citizens of Ponyville. Well… I think that the Princess and I should let you rest."
Twilight solemnly left the little pony alone. It wasn't like she knew how to comfort her. Her parents loved her very much and she couldn't imagine what it must have been like to have them try to kill her.
Seeing as how she was all alone and had no one to talk to, Scootaloo closed her eyes and went to sleep. But instead of nightmare, she didn't dream at all. Perhaps that was the best thing for her. But it was quite a shame that she couldn't wake up to talk to her friends when they came in. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell weren't told the whole thing. In fact, they were lied to. They were told that her parents had both died saving Scootaloo from some sort of monster. With them being just fillies, the truth would have been far too much for them to take.

 "Hey there, Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle and I are here to talk to you. We heard what happened, but we were told not to talk about it. But whenever you're better, we can go out there and get our cutie marks! And we promise that we won't go crusadin' without you because then it wouldn't be as much fun. But we'll make sure to come here tomorrow mornin' and we'll even bring gifts and stuff! And then we can all go have fun like old times. I really hope you can hear us and we just want you to know that we love you and that we'll always be your friends."
The two-thirds of the Cutie Mark Crusaders stayed there with their unconscious friend until they found it that visiting hours were over. As much as they hated it, they had to leave her.
It was the middle of the night and Scootaloo woke up. It was dark in her hospital room, but she could see that the moonlight was shining beautifully through her window. She hadn't had a bad dream in a while and she was thinking about where she was going to live and if she would ever have a real family.
Sadly, this isn't the end, and there's a sequel. I'm not treating you to that just yet though.

 With all of these thoughts going through her mind, she wanted to go back to sleep. But through her one uncovered eye, she looked out the window. It looked like such a peaceful place. Trees swayed in the breeze, owls were quietly hooting… and something was watching her. Even though her vision was still somewhat blurry, she could see something watching her. The window was being fogged with steam as she saw two red eyes glaring at her. She wasn't sure she was dreaming or not. But the sad thing was that as the window opened and an unknown Pegasus pony stepped in, watched her, and began to approach her. She recognized the ragged breathing, the strong stench of urine, and the nostrils covered in white powder.

But the worst part was that the young filly was unable to scream for help.


  1. Yeah, i didn't understand the plot of the matrix, either.

  2. There is a sequel. Not to mention 2 more sequels after that.