Tuesday, 5 July 2011

FanFiction Review: Sweet Apple Massacre

I'm sorry guys. I'm so sorry. Loyal readers of this blog, I am so fucking sorry. In my time, I found this fanfiction. When I first saw it, I was like "Ha, how bad could it be?" The anwser: bad. Really bad. This is worse than Cupcakes. Yes, I found its official replacement as worse fanfiction. Anyway, we will begin.

WARNING: The following fic contains Rape, Sadism, Blood and Gore, Feces and Urine. In other words, Rape, Violence, Guts, Shit and Piss. Please, DO NOT ENJOY.



Big Macintosh surveyed the many apples trees that made up Sweet Apple Acres.  It was nearly apple-buck season once again, and it looked as though they would be having a bumper harvest this year.  He nodded, satisfied.  His sister Applejack walked up beside him.

I think I should point out the characters like I usually do.

Left to Right: Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom (they call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders)



Left to Right: Applejack and Big Macintosh (also known as Big Mac)

“Whoo, boy howdy!  I sure am glad you ain’t injured this time, Big Macintosh!” she said.  “Why, there’s even more apples on them trees than last year!”  
“Eeyup!” Big Macintosh replied, in his characteristic manner.  “Them’s a lotta apples.”
Applejack was silent for a moment, enjoying the feel of the slight breeze against her blonde mane.  “Say, I don’t suppose you’ve seen Apple Bloom anywhere, have ya?  I been looking for her all day, and she ain’t nowhere to be found.”
Big Macintosh shook his head.  “Sorry sis, can’t say I have.”
“Darn!  That silly filly’s probably gone off somewhere with her friends.  I just hope she ain’t getting herself into any mischief, or else there’ll be hay to pay!”
Don't worry, it gets worse.

“Don’t you go worryin’ yourself, Applejack,” he replied, “I’m sure she’s perfectly fine.  But anyway, I need to go back to the barn.  I gotta go and press some apples for some of my home-brewed apple cider.  I hoof-picked a few apples earlier specially, all nice and plump and ripe, and they ain’t gonna press themselves.”
Applejack laughed.  “You sure do love your cider, don’t ya!  Just make sure Apple Bloom don’t get her hooves on it again, we all know what happened last time!”
Big Macintosh chuckled along with his sister.  “Eeyup!”
The large red pony trotted back to the barn, and gently closed the door.  He opened a trap-door with his mouth and went down the steps into an old disused apple cellar.  Usually it was just filled with junk; scrap metal, old worn out ploughs, old rope and various other bits and bobs that had outlived their usefulness.  Big Macintosh often came down here when he wanted to get away from the world, to withdraw for a little while for some peace and quiet.     
And unfortunately, there isn't going to be any peace and quiet in your house after you scream for an hour over this.

Today was different, however.  The old rope, at least, had found a new use, because in cellar space were Apple Bloom and her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, bound and gagged, propped up against the wall.  Three pairs of scared, round eyes looked up at Big Macintosh as he approached.
Well, I think Big Mac is being like Mike Shinoda right now because...
/shades
He's got everybody so petrified
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

“Now then, ya three fillies,” he said, as placid as ever.  “Y’all need to learn a lesson.  You need to learn not to mess around with Big Macintosh.  All I want is some peace and quiet,” he said, looking directly at Apple Bloom.  The little red haired filly cowered under his gaze.  “All I want is a quiet life, without all you Cutie Mark Crusaders runnin’ round the place, making with the noise.  When I’m finished with y’all, there gonna be no noise from you ever again.”

So, what? 'Making with the noise'? The fuck does that mean?

As Big Macintosh approached, Scootaloo flapped her wings, struggling to get off the ground.  Big Macintosh laughed, and grabbed one of her wings.  He twisted, at first slow, watching the pain visibly grow in her eyes, but then tore hard, smiling slightly when he heard the snap and the muffled whimper that came from Scootaloo.  He then threw her to the ground.
Where's FPSRussia when you need him?

“Your wings are useless, ya silly filly,” he said pleasantly.  He then went to a toolbox and took out a rusty knife with a jagged blade and dropped it in front of the three fillies.  “I’m gonna take off those gags now,” he said.  “The first one of you to scream gets their tongues cut out.”

I think Big Mac doesn't like Dead By Sunrise, because
/shades
He doesn't want them to SCREAM IN SIIIIILENCE!
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

He took off Sweetie Belle’s gag first.  She looked up at him with terror, but managed to stay quiet.  Next was Scootaloo.  She let out a strangled whine and was breathing heavily, still in horrendous pain from her broken wing, but managed to resist the temptation.  Finally, he removed the gag from his sister Apple Bloom.  She stared at him with her large round eyes, filled with fear and incomprehension.  This was Big Macintosh after all, her big brother and the gentlest of souls.  Wasn’t he?  Surely this was just a horrible joke?  But she had seen what he had done to Scootaloo’s wing, and it was definitely no joke.  She took a deep breath.

That's right! SCREEAM IN SIIIILEEENCE! Show Big Mac that Chester Bennington is the best!

“APPLEJA—“
Big Macintosh shoved his hoof in Apple Bloom’s mouth, silencing her scream.  He sighed and shook his head.  “I tole you not to scream, Apple Bloom.  You should listen to your big brother.”

Yeah, especially when you fuck up and say tole instead. Dumbass.

“I’ll…I’ll scream, and scream again, an’ Applejack will hear and, and…” Apple Bloom said, falteringly.
DO EET. END THIS FIC WHILE YOU CAN!

“Ya know, I kinda hope you do.  After all, I still ain’t forgiven Applejack for that injury she gave me last apple-buck season.  If you want Applejack to join y’all down here, scream away.  I, for one, would welcome her company.  But now, to business.”
So, wait. He's happy to kill his ENTIRE FAMILY because one of them is a bit loud and the other accidentally hurt him? What kinda looney tune is this guy?

Big Macintosh picked up the knife, and loomed over the cowering Apple Bloom.  He pinned her down with a powerful hoof, and stuck the knife into Apple Bloom’s mouth.  Sweetie Belle vomited at the sight, the thick yellow chunks and acidic-smelling liquid spattering heavily on the floor.  Scootaloo managed not to be sick, but rather gasped and sobbed and choked with panic.  Big Macintosh forced open Apple Bloom’s mouth and with some effort cut out her tongue.  Apple Bloom tried to scream but her mouth was too full of blood, so it was more of a muted gurgle.  After a short while she collapsed, tears streaming from her eyes, falling unconscious from the shock and the pain.  Big Macintosh then took the tongue and rolled it in the puddle of putrid vomit on the floor.  He smiled at Scootaloo.
“Ya hungry?”
No. And I never will be after reading this.

Scootaloo shook her head vigorously and cast him a defiant glare.  “If Rainbow Dash was here she would kick the crap out of you, you…you maniac!”
Don't worry Scootaloo... I would kick the crap out of him if I was there aswell.

Big Macintosh shrugged.  “Well, she ain’t.  An’ anyway, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.  Rainbow Dash ain’t as tough as she likes to make out.”  He shoved the vomit-covered tongue into Scootaloo’s mouth, and used his hoof to clamp her mouth shut.  “Don’t you go tryin’ to spit it out now,” he said calmly, with a little laugh and the filly struggled and squirmed.  “Din’t your mother ever tell you how important it is to chew your food?”
Scootaloo closed her eyes and flapped her one good wing desperately, eventually swallowing Apple Bloom’s tongue.  Big Macintosh, still holding the writhing Scootaloo down with his strong hooves, then mounted the orange filly and slid his penis into her tight virgin pussy, raping her for several minutes while Sweetie Belle watched, trembling with revulsion.  Apple Bloom was still out cold, blood pouring from her torn-up mouth.
The author knows everything about sex, and he's also a good writer. That makes the story so much worse.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders rape victims,” Big Macintosh said with tender mockery as he fucked Scootaloo, followed by a gentle chuckle.  “Guess y’all found your purpose in life now; your special talent is gettin’ raped.  Eeyup.”

Oh how funny. Fucking hilarious.

Eventually he withdrew from Scootaloo, and gripped her head tight and repeatedly punched her hard with a hoof in the face, causing her nose to shatter and spurt with blood.  He scooped up some of the blood and some of Sweetie Belle’s vomit with his tongue and held it in his mouth, so that it mixed with his saliva, and then brought his mouth close to Scootaloo’s and spat the rank mixture into her mouth.  He clamped his hoof over her mouth and held her nose until she gagged and eventually had no choice but to swallow.
Shit man.

As Scootaloo retched and spat and cried, he turned to Sweetie Belle.  He grabbed her easily, as she was too shocked and traumatised to respond, and with apparent amusement he rammed her horn up Scootaloo’s ass.  The horn was too big and hard, so the skin around Scootaloo’s ass ripped and blood and fecal matter first trickled and then poured profusely down onto Sweetie Belle’s face, as well as urine as Scootaloo pissed herself.

That's fucking disgusting. (notice the current lack of effort in the commentary)

“You keep doin’ that, Sweetie Belle,” he said.  The unicorn carried on pushing her horn up Scootaloo’s anus, slowly but surely.  Her normally well groomed pink and purple mane was now stained a reddish-brown, glistening with the wetness of the piss and blood.  “If ya stop, I’ll come over there and, uh, get creative.  I may seem a bit dense, but I’m actually quite a creative stallion, ya know,” Big Macintosh said, with a wink.  “Eeyup!”

If Big Mac was Hagrid from 'Your a Wizard, Harry'
/shades
He would rupture her fucking anus with his massive horse cock
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

He went to Apple Bloom and penetrated his little sister’s unconscious body with his hard cock.  While he violated her, and another knife, this one sharp and shiny, and sliced open her flank, causing her glistening intestines to flop out wetly onto the floor.  He glanced over, and was pleased to see that Sweetie Belle was still using her horn to anally penetrate Scootaloo, and her face was now completely covered in blood and feces and urine.

"While he violated her, and another knife, this one sharp and shiny," please, take a moment to read that. If you understand what the fuck that meant, you are:
1. Drunk
2. High
3. Sadistic
4. All of the above

He turned his attention back to Apple Bloom, and scooped up her crimson entrails and wrapped them around her neck, still fucking the filly, and with his front hooves he pulled and pulled until it was wrapped so tightly around Apple Bloom’s neck that it broke her windpipe.  She was now surely dead, but Big Macintosh continued fucking her furiously until her body began to lose form and collapse into a quivering, amorphous mass of fur and blood and flesh.  The perineum had fallen away, leaving a single red and raw gaping void.  He carried on until he was fucking nothing but a single swollen and bloody orifice, and then discarded his baby sister’s carcass as though she were nothing more than a rotten apple core.
I would love to know what's going on in Big Mac's head.

He then took the knife, and grabbed Sweetie Belle and tossed her aside.  He forced himself into Scootaloo’s ruined anus, and then took the knife and cut from her ass in a sweeping motion up to her belly, and all her innards fell out.  He then grabbed her head, twisted and tore it clean off, using his immense strength, and fucked it in the mouth and then tossed it aside.  He then had sex with her headless body, both in the vagina and the ass until he got bored.


Sweetie Belle was the last remaining Cutie Mark Crusader.  She was herself barely conscious, overcome with the nauseous stench of blood, shit and piss that covered her horn and her face.  Big Macintosh pinned Sweetie Belle down with his hoof and plunged the knife into her green eye, and twisted, causing vitreous fluid to dribble out onto the handle.  At that, Sweetie Belle let out a throaty whine and involuntarily emptied her bowels, and the aroma of fresh urine and feces filled the apple cellar once again.  He withdrew the knife and did the same to the other eye, each time holding her tight and sticking his hoof into her mouth to silence her agonised screams.  He licked the vitreous fluid that had leaked onto the knife, and then methodically began cutting and hacking at her front left hoof using the rusty knife.  The knife was quite blunt, so it took a Herculean effort to get through the skin, bone and cartilage, but eventually the bone splintered and the leg came off.  He did the same to her other legs, until all four were amputated and nothing remained but bloody stumps, with slimy white ligament and broken bone shards hanging out.  At some point Sweetie Belle had passed out, the overwhelming pain too much for her to bear.
Kill me.

He then used the knife to gouge out her left eye and jammed his penis into her eye socket, penetrating repeatedly deep into her brain, enjoying how tight her skull felt around his hard shaft and how warm and squishy the brain-matter felt against the tip of his throbbing penis.  As he did he twisted Sweetie Belle’s neck.  After he had finished skull-fucking her, he cracked open her skull with a swift stamp of the hoof, and bent down and ate some of the exposed brain, taking care to spit out a few fragments of skull bone that had got mixed in as he chewed.  It was warm and slimy and tough, and stuck to the back of his throat.  He swallowed, and then raped Sweetie Belle in the ass until it tore open and his engorged penis was smeared with what little fecal matter remained in her rectum.
Oh my fucking god. There goes my appetite, along with my innocence and everything I've ever loved.

He took one of Sweetie Belle’s detached legs and shoved it inside her ass, and then fucked Apple Bloom and Scootaloo’s bodies the same way, forcing the amputated limb in, hoof-first, as far as it could go.  He thought how strange it was that the still lumps of torn flesh that he was fucking with Sweetie Belle’s leg had been so vibrant and alive such a short time ago.
But now, all three were dead, and he finished by spurting his voluminous load into Apple Bloom’s destroyed backside.  He watched with satisfaction as the semen and blood and shit mixed together, forming a foamy maroon pool.  He bent down and greedily lapped up some of it with his tongue, pressing his tongue deep into her anal cavity so as not to miss any, letting some dribbling down his chin.  It tasted foul of course, a rancid, tangy slime that burned his throat, but it felt so satisfying.  He swallowed the filthy goo, and wiped his mouth with a hoof.  It was done.  Big Macintosh would finally get his peace and quiet.
Duke Nukem: I wish Big Mac would...
/shades
EAT SHIT AND DIE!
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

“Big Macintosh, ya down there?”
It was Applejack.  He looked at the disfigured corpses of the three fillies, all now barely recognisable as the oh-so-sweet Cutie Mark Crusaders, and realised he felt strangely unsatisfied.  It had all been a bit too quick and easy.  Now Applejack…that would be a challenge.  She was Ponyville’s best athlete after all; she even had the Prize Pony of Ponyville trophy to prove it.  And, of course, he still hadn’t forgiven her for that injury.  He felt his penis stiffen once again in anticipation.
I get erections at the thought of killing people aswell. The author is the lovechild of Sergeant Sprinkles and Jigsaw from SAW 3D.

“Hey, Big Mac, I said are ya down there?” came Applejack’s lilting voice again, this time more insistent.
Big Macintosh replied serenely, “I sure am, sis.  Hey, come down here a minute.  I’ve got somethin’ to show you.”
“Sure thing!  What is it?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Oh boy, I sure do love surprises!  Somethin’ real nice I’ll bet.”
Yeah, if you have a fetish for being killed and raped at the same time.

Something real nice?  Big Macintosh looked at the mangled, mutilated remains of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and his lips curled into a thin smile.
“Eeyup.”

Eenope.avi. Fuck this shit. It sucessfully overturned Cupcakes in the worst fanfiction section.

Next Review: The infamous Pokémon Story (To go where Fan Fiction Friday couldn't)

104 comments:

  1. Mother of god. I made a Hot Pocket before I read this. I'm not as hungry as I was before.

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  2. This is messed up. I'm not sure whether to say if this is worse than 'Cupcakes' or not...

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  3. Oh God, what is this I don't even-

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  4. SWEETIE BELLE NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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  5. Meh,you don't slash a flank and hope for innards to fall out. Pinkie,on the other hand,knows "surgery"! That makes moar sense.

    Anyway,achievement complete. I survived through this fanfic...I regret nothing *Fluttershy squeak*

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  6. I was chuckling throughout all of this.
    Mainly because of the descriptiveness of the story.
    The commentary was extra lulz.

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  7. Eh, I would have been more terrified if it was someone more realistic doing the killing. Big mac just doesn't cut it..

    Cupcakes is better.

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  8. This is so out of character for Big Mac that it's unbelievable. Still horrific, and inherently wrong (I've lost my appetite now too...) Cupcakes was better because Pinkamena was just deranged enough to imagine doing all that stuff. I preferred Trixie's Funhouse with regards to stupid gorefics - also difficult to imagine, but it's pretty funny at times as well.

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  9. Well, I can't say this is worse than Cupcakes. What made that fic so intense was the fact that Pinkie Pie was perfectly in character, and the relationship she had with Rainbow Dash in the show adds to the intensity for the reason behind the slaughter. This is simply too random to be out there with Cupcakes.

    Overall the torture seemed boring, though the horn fuck was an interesting twist. The rest was expected. I probably would've felt more frightened by it if I read the version that DIDN'T include your commentary. It sorta took away the atmosphere.

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  10. Omg this made me really lightheaded.... I'm gonna go lie down for a bit, might throw up here later on.

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  11. The fact that I didn't throw up after reading this is making me question my moral sanity.

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  12. The fanfic didn't even phase me
    you know why?
    Cuz i know it could never really happen!
    MLPFiM Will live on forever! :D

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  13. THAT. WAS. THE. BEST. STORY. EVER. ......seriously, that sounds like something I'd make up. Ah well, thanks for the laughs :D

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  14. ive just seen my tea twice........it doesn't look as good in the sink......

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  15. Why am I not disturbed.

    WHY AM I SO SADISTIC. THIS DOES NOT DISTURB ME.

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  16. Ha. Cupcakes is wayyyy worse than this. This is another Gorey Clopfic!
    Cupcakes is a Grimdark fanfic. There's no source of fapping to it? You can't fap to Cupcakes, there's no way.

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  17. Where is the sequel?

    Is there a sequel?

    I AM STILL HORNY!!!

    FEED ME MAOR!

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  18. You guys make me sad.

    How can you enjoy this clusterfuck of rape and gore and pedophilia?

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  19. @Draconian, Yes there is, but it isn't a gory clusterfuck like this. It's just 5000 words about AJ feeling sorry for herself. That's the official one anyway.

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  20. I couldn't take this seriously at all. Your commentary rules.

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  21. I must be a very sick man because i very much enjoyed this story expect the raping that's my line.

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  22. Oh god kill me, I hate big mac forever now UGH.

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  23. What is this, a pony version of Serbian Film?

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  24. I feel decidedly undisturbed. Maybe it was the commentary. Probably because the writing sucked. ^^

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  25. Lol my favorite movie was The Serbian Film,now i ve a favorite fanfiction..

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  26. FUCKING LOL'D. That was shit. No detail. Terribly written. Stephen King's worst story is better than this. The deaths were wooden, no emotion, not individuality, no nothing. I could write a more emotionally scarring piece than this. Perhaps I will.

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  27. It's just somepony trying to see if they can out-gore cupcakes. The difference is that sgt. sprinkles can write, and context was established. cupcakes wasn't an enjoyable read, but it wasn't a waste of my time either. In addition to losing my appetite, I also lost ten precious minutes of my life.

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  28. is it bad that i enjoyed cupcakes (and the sequels) and found this a lil disgusting

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  31. Hmm..that's weird. I was already feeling up-chucky BEFORE I read this story (ate too much dinner) and now after reading it I don't feel up-chucky. LOL

    I love how this is the first fanfic I decided to read about MLPFIM. It's hilarious!

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  33. Read a short summary of this story from another site and said I'd never read it. But it bugged me constantly so I read it to have closure.

    My reaction: that was a horrible story and who in their right mind would make it? And to those who say they hate Macintosh now, don't hate him, hate the person who made this story for making him do that. Honestly he'd never do that for real he's too cool. And to kill four people would give him nothing close to peace and quiet.

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  34. What kind of fucked up person thinks of this....

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  35. holy sh@# i dont get it... the creater probaly was drunk.
    i am writing this from under my coffe able.... i swore i herd screaming.
    but this also dosnt make sense i mean everyone who hasnt read thi but has read cupcakes thought (not all) that cupcakes was scary but no i just cant eat anything!A
    look i was just trying to get i little scary story cus its almost halloween...
    im just tryin to get into the spirit but this.....THIS!!!!!!!! this is just.......STUPID!!!!!!

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  36. silently "rocking in a corner"

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  37. Meh. This was horribly written IMO.
    On one hand, what happened in the fic itself is worse than Cupcakes... But cupcakes was more psychologically effective.
    Though I laughed through that one too.

    But still, this one wins in sheer grotesque.

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  38. I laughed.

    Then I came.

    Then I laughed again.

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  39. you lied! cupcakes damaged me wayyyy more, this just caused me to raise an eyebrow in disgust, not almost shit myself like cupcakes

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  40. this makes cupcakes look like a little kid's story book

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  41. This is more disgusting in terms of what Big Mac does. Cupcakes was much more effective in terms of pure creepiness, and more psychologically.

    The problem with Cupcakes is that people have made Pinkamena the new Pinkie.

    Pinkamena does not actually exist in the show, people! It's a fricking fanfic!

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  42. I.... I don't wanna live on this planet anymore ._.

    Also, I'm totally sending this to Rob from Topless Robot for the next FFF.

    I feel so sorry for that man...

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  43. Ioxis, please don't! Can't you put up with my reviews?

    On a serious note: he might get kinda pissed with how I also review disturbing fanfictions. However, that man inspired me to create these reviews. I read FFF every Saturday (because it's Saturday in Australia when it's Friday in America). I love Rob, but don't send this shit to him.

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  44. okay, i dont see how anyone could be disturbed by this. yes, its descriptive, and yes it does terrible things to beloved characters, but really? this guy doesnt know the first thing about writing (as the commentary pointed out. TEH LULZ!!). you simply dont write descriptive scenes with vulgarity. it takes away from the atmosphere of the whole thing. i mean, a good author couldve stretched this out to at least 4 pages. heck, I MYSELF couldve stretched it to 4 pages. this was simply a vulgar mess of rape. cupcakes was worse than this, and i laughed at cupcakes too. show me a GOOD fanfic. plz. for the love of pete. or whoever you love.

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  45. dear god that was sick. time to clean up the mess on my keyboard. who the fuck in their right minds would write stuff like this about fillies. I hate fanfics like this and thanks to my curiosity I'm checking out Cupcakes this instance...I feel that I won't like it.

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  46. @Harpseal2: Nothing wrong with mocking bad fanfics.

    I have a similar blog for mocking pony fics, and if you look up Project AFTER you'll find an 8-year-old forum full of them. Not to mention all the Youtube channels for things like that.

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  47. ^ P.S. There's no difference in formatting between links and regular text. Might wanna fix that.

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  48. Is it wrong that this had very little effect on me? Certainly not enough to put me off my food (spaghetti and ice cream, yum!)

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  49. Anyone else catch the Serbian Film reference?
    And it would be better (worse?) if the author could write worth a fucking shit.
    [Trollface.jpg]

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  50. i never thought it would heart so much feeling a part of my soul DIE

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  51. After reading this, a part of my soul split in half and exploded. How could you do this to us? Why in the world would you post this. e_o I feel like the world has been forsaken.

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  52. This may have been more violent and gross, but it didn't have the same emotions as Cupcakes.

    Cupecakes is beter.

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  53. AJ: *surveys mess* Twi, git mah rope.

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  54. Ah... Now to get some nice noodles and a warm cup of red lemonade, maybe mix it with coke.

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  55. I want to eat some cookies right now.

    About the story, the horn rape es a very interesting touch. It made me feel sick. But the rest of the story... was completely boring. Maybe because I have read "Squidward's Suicide" this story (and cupcakes) doesn't have a single effect in me. Except the part in wich Dash says "I wanna go home" Dude, that was creepy

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  56. I wanted to stop reading but it was just so well-written :(

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  57. well written???
    this seems like it was written by a 12 year old trying to make a violent story, over hyped and not gross

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  58. I have a hentai game called Fairy fighting.

    Its a 2d side scrolling fighting/raping game. Play as sprite based characters, but they are of good quality and good animation( Which actually kind of makes it worse ).

    Your main character is a Fairy named Tiki. She is a fairy that fights against the fairly large variety of creatures presented in this game.

    Her move set consists of kicks, punches, a dash, a kind of air slash, and diving. And also has the ability to Recharge Mana by urinating and recharge Hp by Masturbating.

    Then there is a large slug-like Alien that uses tentacles to attack and rape. Along with some moves that fill Tiki up to the breaking point with smaller slugs.

    Then there is an Alien called Meat-Catcher that uses tentacles to attack and rape once again. But also can use its whole body to attack. Once again can use attack that fills Tiki up with small slugs. But it also has an attack that I find hilarious. It can use some form of magic to create a portal, and slides its tentacles through the portal, and they pop outward from her pussy & rectum.

    I won't detail anymore characters. But there is also an almost mermaid like creature with a giant pingas. A plant creature with a core that looks like the upper body of a female human, which ultimately shoves the entire core of the plant into Tiki at the end of the fight.

    A Jello-like creature that uses liquid style tentacles, to rape, and yank on Tiki's genitals.
    A bee alien that ultimately can spawn a giant queen bee to rape Tiki big time and fill her with eggs. A futanari fairy, in other words a fairy girl with a pingas, that can attack normally along with rape Tiki in a variety of ways.

    And then there is a group enemy called fairy destroyers. They have pingas's the size of Tiki's whole torso, and ultimately rape her in all-holes.

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  59. The fact that I laughed when he murdered Sweetie Belle makes me question my mental health... Also, is it wrong that this gave me a boner?

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  60. IB If this is better then Cupcakes, then the mlp fandom must be scared pretty fuckin easily, this didn't even make me raise a eyebrow in disgust.

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  61. The funny thing is, this story would never have got the attention it has if it had never been posted here.

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  62. I disapprove. I took one short brake from the Equestria Daily comments to look at this and now I can only think of a few worse things. You, the author, are hereby banished from Equestria and may never return from the side of the portal you are on, this is a royal order, HUZZAH!

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  63. Hey now, this blog wouldn't have got nearly as many views if it wasn't for this fic!

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  64. This was horribly written. It seems they made Big Mac do all these vile things just for the sake of pointless violence. Plus does anyone think Big Mac was horribly out of character?

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  65. Cupcakes made me look over my shoulder, this fic made me look over my nose.
    nuf said.

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  66. Pinkamena does exist in the show, if you recall the episode of the filly pinkie pie, straight haired..and her father called her pinkamena diane pie. Therefore she does exist, but after she moved to ponyville and made friends she became known as pinkie pie. Everyone has therefore assumed that when pinkie pie's hair deflates, she is known as pinkamena.

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  67. >Read story
    >Got called up for supper 2 minutes afterwards
    >...fuck

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  68. eh.....whatever.


    i dont think one even needs a strong stomach to tolerate this one.
    dont get me wrong. it is pretty fucked up. but it just doesnt affect me. cupcakes didnt either. i dont think i have a VERY strong stomach. i thought from what id heard, i woudnt even be able te read these. maybe READING a story just doesnt do it for me. that or im just fucked up.

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  69. I am quite astonished by this vulgar piece of literature. I, being a writer, find it very repulsive to think that someone actually sat down at their computer and wrote something like this. The author of THIS story is either psychotic, a pedophile, or just plain fucked up in the head. I will never, ever look at MLP the same way EVER again!

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  70. I skimmed over some of the worst parts that I didn't want to read but this is the most stupid fan fiction I've ever read.

    I don't know what bothers me more, the incest, the pure disgusting nature of this, or that yet another gentle, nice pony from Equestria is being portrayed as a monster.

    At least with Pinkie Pie it was somewhat believable that she could snap, but Big Mac? No way... At least it doesn't ruin my appreciation of this character because it's so far out of character.

    Cupcakes was honestly better written even with the lack of detail and it's kind of funny to joke about pony's numbers coming up, etc. but this fic on the other hand has no redeeming value whatsoever, it's just vile and gross.

    I only skimmed over it because of its meme status.

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  71. This is disturbing...
    Yet I nonchalantly read through this fanfiction with a neutral expression on my face.
    I feel as though reading it has made me pathologically more creative...
    Now if you will excuse me...
    I need to go contemplate my morals and hopefully suicide

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  72. That was the one of the worst fanfics I have ever read. To show proof I even made a reaction poster to it. Here is the link to it.http://theprincessofchaos.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d4kmd0l

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  73. And here I was thinking it couldn't get worse than Cupcakes.

    People seriously flip out over this? I just read it with a straight face.
    I don't get how this is scary. It's terrible for reasons I don't even want to explain.

    On a side note, I wonder what would happen if the guy who fell on the floor sobbing in a ball while reading Cupcakes came and read this instead.

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  74. ...oe
    Oh lordy...
    This was pretty awful but Cupcakes was just so...so detailed in what the hell happened to RD...this was just nasty and...well, new "terms" were introduced to me. That's all I can say.

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  75. I've always wanted to read Apple Bloom getting fucked up as hell, probably because of that annoying fucking little face that tries to imitate puss in boots.

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  76. and this was good, it was very detailed.

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    Replies
    1. What the hell dude... Oooooh i get it, you're the type who like CoD cause it's popular! makes sense then, ignore my criticism on your thought on this wretched piece of herecy.
      You're awesome and i want you to have an awesome day my friend! :D

      Delete
  77. Well...ok, then.

    As has been said before, Big Mac is completely out-of-character in this fic, making this impossible. In Cupcakes, it was more plausible for Pinkie to go psycho.

    I just lost interest as soon as Big Mac started raping the poor fillies. It just got even more ridiculous after that. :/

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  78. Your commentary was not needed. It was just fucking annoying.

    Anyways,
    this didn't bother me at all.
    I've watched people die before on camera and it's
    pretty much grown me to be immune to all of death.

    Whether that made me stronger or just fucked up, who knows.
    All I know is this fanfic sucked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, shitlips, I'll just post fanfictions so my blog will become a fucking horrid fanfic dump.

      Bite a bullet, asshole.

      Delete
  79. How was this even relatively good by any stretch of the mind. . .? It's just a poorly-written, senseless jumble of gore and semen.

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  80. Made a sandwich before I read it,sat down and read the whole thing,finished and ate my sandwich like I had never eaten in my life.IS THERE ANYTHING THAT WI'LL EVER GROSS ME OUT??!!

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  81. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  82. Why is Rainbow Dash´s picture in the fanfic?
    AND WHY DOES SCOOTALOO HAS ALREADY DIED 2 TIMES???
    (this+rainbow factory)

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  83. Lol. Seen worse, but not broney stuff XD. Friend just wanted me to read this. *hugs* i sorry this was so awful.

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  84. Nowhere near as everyone said it was, it was mostly just a mass of putrid words, but after reading Cupcakes and Cheerilee's Garden, nothing surprises me anymore.

    Loved your little commentary though :3

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  85. i this is horrible and is it bad that i'm not disturbed by this at all

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  86. It wasn't as scarring as it was made out to be. Sure it was the #1 most fucked up thing that I ever read, but it didn't really scar me or disturb me too much apparently.


    Oh, and I'm 12 years old.

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  87. I had difficulty fapping to this.

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  88. Is it wrong that I'm turned on by this? Slightly disturbed but turned on. Lol

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  89. I at least dissected a frog before I read Cupcakes, so it wasn't as bad. But this made bile rise in my throat. This has to go down in history as the dirtiest, most gory, fucked up shit the internet has ever offered me.

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  90. This is a little funny.
    Cupcakes made me laugh.
    The experiments of twilight sparkle was horrible.
    Cheerilees garden is the most fucked up shit in the world.

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  91. This is a little funny.
    Cupcakes made me laugh.
    The experiments of twilight sparkle was horrible.
    Cheerilees garden is the most fucked up shit in the world.

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  92. fuck everyone who commented here (including myself) i hope you all burn.

    ReplyDelete