Wednesday, 1 June 2011

FanFiction Review: Cupcakes

Hello, it's harpseal2 here, and I'm going to review the most vile piece of crap I have currently found: Cupcakes. Anyway, I shall begin.


[WARNING] This Fanfic contains Blood and Gore, Violence. If you are under 18, then this fic will give you nightmares. (It's possible that even if you are over 18, you'll get nightmares, but whatever.)

Cupcakes   by Sergeant Sprinkles: World's Greatest Party Clown
   The air was warm, the sun was shining, and all of Ponyville was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded. Busy ponies were making their busy way through the streets. All the pony folk seemed to have somewhere to be. All, except Rainbow Dash. Her place was in the sky. She freely tore through the air, speeding one way and the next. She buzzed the tree tops and raced the wind. The pegasus swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children. Climbing several hundred feet, she dove, going as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open and she took off back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive.
Anyway, for y'all that are new to this, these are the characters involved:
Rainbow Dash:

and Pinkie Pie
So yeah, prepare for the worst.
Then she remembered that she had somewhere to be; she supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. She’d gotten so caught up in her exercises that she nearly forgot.
Pinkie had asked Dash to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. She didn’t say why or what they’d be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying. But, Dash’s conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie’s feelings; after all, she said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. She considered it and thought “why not.” What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull off on folks. They’d so much fun the last time. Dash kicked it into overdrive, mostly to make for lost time, and sped to her appointment.
Yeah, her appointment to DIE.

When she walked into the store, she was immediately greeted with her host bouncing in excitement.
   “Yay, you’re here, you’re here. I’ve been waiting allll day.” Said the jumping pony.
   “Sorry if I’m a little late, Pinkie.  I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time.” Dash apologized.
   Pinkie giggled and responded, her tone gleefully reassuring, “Oh that’s ok, you’re here now. What‘s a few more minutes. I’ve been sooooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we’re gonna do, I haven’t stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breath I’ve been so happy.”
   Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She always appreciated Pinkie’s friendly, outgoing way of life, but her overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out.  Dash was polite, however. If Pinkie was got this worked up, then it must good; whatever it was.
   “So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I’ve got everything all ready.” The pink one said.
   Dash psyched herself up. “ You betcha, Pinkie. You what do ya got planed? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I’ve been thinking about. Or maybe you got some stunts you think I should try? Or maybe…”
   “MAKING CUPCAKES!” Pinkie happily announced.
   “Baking”? Dash was disappointed. “Pinkie, you know I’m not good baking. Remember the last time?”
   “Oh that’s not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I’ll be doing most of the work.” Pinkie explained.
   Dash thought for about it for a second and replied, “Well, alright, I guess that’s ok. What exactly do need me to do”?
   “That’s the spirit. Here you go.” Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.
   Dash was puzzled “I thought I was helping you bake.”
   “You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.
   “So, is this like taste testing or something?”
   “Sorta” Pinkie said.
   Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad.
   “Ok, now what?” Dash asked.
   “Now,” Pinkie informed “You take a nap.”
   Upon hearing that, Dash felt lightheaded. Her world spun and ,seconds later, she dropped to the floor.
NOW YOU TOK A NOP. Violence starts right after here folks. And this is where my rant begins.

When Dash regained conciseness,
Let's stop here. So, wait, conciseness? Didn't he mean Consciousness? Dumbass.
she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head but found that the taut leather strap kept it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but the braces around her chest and limbs glued her to the upright planks. Her legs were spread wide apart. The only part of her not tied down were her wings as the frame was backless. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped into her line of sight.
"Pinkie, is this a bondage session, or are you doing throwing knife practice?"

“Goodie, you’re awake. Now we can get started.” She gleefully stated. She was pushing a cart covered with a cloth.
   “Pinkie, what’s going on? I can’t move!” Dash said in a worry.
   “Well, duh, you’re tied down.” Pinkie chided “That’s why you can’t move. I didn’t think you needed to told that.”
   “But why? What’s happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes.”
   “You are helping. You see. I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more.”
   “Special ingredient”? Dash was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. “What special ingredient”?
   Pinkie giggled and responded “You, silly”  
I KNEW IT! IT IS THROWING KNIFE PRACTICE
Dash’s eyes widen, her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh ”Woo, really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I’m gonna get made to a cupcake. I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you’re the best.“
 I have an alt ending that ends right there. If only people read my version. *sigh*

Pinkie giggled even more. “Aw, thanks Dash. But I haven’t done pranks today, so I can’t accept your praise. “
   Dash was struggling again. “Pinkie, come on, this isn’t funny.”
   “Then why were you laughing”? Pinkie grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. The top of the tray contained various sharp medical tools and knives carefully organized and ready. There was a medicine bag and several other objects next to them.
Don't worry, it gets worse.

Dash was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind was racing and she tried to reason with the pink pony. “You can’t do this Pinkie! I’m your friend!”
Yeah, Pinkie's a real fucking good friend. You know, just going an' killin' her friends? Yeah, that's what friends are about.

“I know you are and that’s why I’m so happy it’s that I’ve got you here. We get to share your last moments together, just you and me.” She was skipping again.
   “But, the other ponies will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they’ll come looking for me and then you’ll get found out.” Dash was desperate.
   “Oh, Dash” Pinkie said “don‘t worry, there are plenty of pegasus to take care of a few clouds. And besides, no will find out.
Oh my god! No will find out! Pinkie, let Dash go before No finds out! No might be a big mean bully!
I mean, how long do you think I’ve been doing this?” And with that the lights suddenly came to life and showcased the rest the room.
I'll give you ten seconds flat to guess what's in the rest of the room.

Oh god, no” Dash reeled in horror at the image presented to her. The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails danced around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were stuck on the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and flesh of past ponies. Dash cringed at the center piece on the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed like they were sleeping, wearing party hats made from their own skin. She recognized one of them as Apple Bloom’s classmate. Her eyes darted back and forth and then gazed up at the patchwork banner hanging from the rafters.  Made from several pony hides, the words “Life is a party” were scrawled in red.
     
That means you shouldn't make death one.
Dash’s attention was stolen by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She saw Pinkie Pie standing in front of her. The party pony was wearing a dress quilted from cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all different colors. As she skipped in excitement, her necklace of unicorn horns loudly clacked together.
It's a fashion statement!
 “Like it”? She asked “I made it myself.”
Simply amaaaazing.
Dash pleaded. “Pinkie please, I’m sorry if I did anything to you. I didn’t mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won’t tell anybody.”
  “Oh Dash, you didn’t do anything. It’s just that your number came up and, well, I don’t make rules. We can’t turn back now."
To quote from a DBS song: BUT ITS TOO LATE, TO TURN BACK NOOOOW!
Rainbow Dash was tearing up. How could this be happening?
       “Aww don’t be sad Dash” Pinkie said “Look this’ll cheer you up. I brought you a friend.”
Out of seemingly nowhere, Pinkie displayed a blue and yellow painted skull. It was about pony sized, but it had a very defining feature: a beak.
        Dash was freaking out. “Is…is that….is…that?”
If your wondering what this is about, Dash had a friend called Gilda, who was a griffon.

““Hey, Dash lets hang together. These ponies are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs.” Pinkie mimicked. “I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty minutes? That wasn’t enough time to play with her of course, I had to wait till after the party to do that. But boy am I glad I did. It was worth for the flavor alone. Griffons taste like two animals at once, it’s amazing. I know she didn’t have number like everyone else in Ponville, but when was I gonna get another chance to try a griffon. I hindsight, I probably should have asked where she came from so I can get more, but I forgot. I’ll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. Lasted a long time, which was fun for me, I got chance to play with somebody other than a pony and try new things. It’s too bad she had such a potty mouth. She said so much bad stuff, I had to take her tongue out. You know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Dash.”
"Yeah, well, fuck you too, ya cunt."
 Dash didn’t have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed.
        “Well” Pinkie said, putting the skull down” that’s enough reminiscing, it’s time to begin.” She picked up a scalpel and walked over to Dash’s right flank. Without any flair, she placed the blade an inch above her cutie mark and started a circular cut around it. Her lungs working overtime, Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away. But the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed the curved skinning knife from the tray. She worked it under the skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground her teeth as she tearfully watched as her flesh came off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and completed the other flank. Once she was done, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms.
I love pompoms. Especially FLESH ones.
Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned.
As the Heavy would say: MY FLESH! IT BUUURNS!
Placing the skin down, Pinkie selected the large butcher knife and walked behind Rainbow Dash.
“Hope you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna wing it now. “ Pinkie laughed. She grabbed the left one and played with it for a second. Then, stretching the wing out, she brought the blade down at the base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie Pies aim. She tried to hit the mark again but missed wide and put a huge slice in Rainbow’s back.
“Dash, you gotta stay still or I’ll keep missing.”
She took another whack and hit the target. She swung again and again, blood spraying into the air, but realized she wasn’t getting anywhere.
This is bloodier that L4D2 uncensored.
The blade just wasn’t going through the bone.
“Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I’ll try something else.” She stated as she tossed the knife over her shoulder; the blade embedding itself in the table.
The crying Rainbow Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.
“Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn’t hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife.
You can't hack with a knife, you hack with the Developers Console.
This is a saw. I don’t get it.”
Pinkie placed the tool over the last attempt. It effortlessly sailed through the bone and skin. The painful feeling of the teeth grinding biting into her made Dash want to vomit.
Don't worry, even seeing the title of this makes me wanna puke. Dash ain't alone
She watched helplessly as her wing flew over her head and land with a fluff on the table.  Pinkie moved the next and started sawing. Dash didn’t struggle this time; she’d given up trying to fight and just cried. Then the sawing abruptly paused. Pinkie was only half way done, the wing hanging off by only a sliver.
“Hey Dash” she piped up “think fast”
You don't wanna know what happens next. But do it anyway, or I'll kill your father.
Suddenly, she yanked the wing as hard as sure could. The bone snapped but the skin held tight. The pull ripped a long strip flesh down Dash’s back to her rump. The unexpected trauma caused her body seize. She felt the warm release between legs as her pelvis tensed up. Dash’s loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked out.
After this shit, you'd wish the story ended right here. But no, it gets 50 times worse.

She awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. She saw a very pouty Pinkie Pie removing the adrenaline needle from her chest.
Ok, that is far beyond mean, thats just fucking sad. Like really? Actually KEEPING SOMEONE AWAKE WHILE KILLING THEM!? YOU SADISTIC FUCKING BASTARDS!

Stomping her hooves, the frustrated Pinkie lashed out.
“Didn’t anybody teach you any manners? It’s very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you over to spend time with them. How would like if I came over to your house and went to sleep. “Oh I’m sorry Dash, you’re boring, I think I’ll take a nap.” You think I like always doing this by myself. I told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have to a friend be here with me while I worked. But NOOOOO! You’ve got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough, I thought you could handle anything. I’ve had foals stand up better than you.  Do I have to baby you? Huh? Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?”
Its also very rude to KILL SOMEONE. Especially when it's your FRIEND!
She stopped to catch her breath. Dash blinked and softly cried. Her back was on fire.
Pinkie then popped something red into her mouth and began to chew. She noticed Dash was staring at her.
“What?” she asked. “Oh this?” Holding up another piece. “Well, while YOU were asleep, I got a little impatient and helped myself sample. I got it from your leg, you’re not bad. Wanna try some”?
Without waiting for a response, she shoved the strip of meat into the revolted Rainbow Dash’s mouth. She immediately spit it out. Pinkie picked up. “if you didn’t want it, you could have said no.” She then ate the discarded snotty morsel. “It’s not like you haven’t had it before.”
"Yeah, I mean, it really fun to eat yourself, try it sometime."

Swallowing, she turned her attention to the small can on the tray. She removed the lid, revealing that it was filled with burning coals. Sitting on top of the fire were several large nails. Dash began to panic again. Pinkie picked up the can and walked over to Dash’s left. Carefully picking up a nail and grabbing a hammer, she positioned the spike at the seam between her leg and her hoof.
“No! Pinkie NO!” Dash screamed. “NO! NO!”
As Woods would say: YOU CAN'T KILL ME! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
The hammer came down and the nail punctured under her skin. The white hot burning was too much.  Dash pulled and thrashed at the brace, her skin rubbed and tore. Pinkie tried to line up another one, but couldn’t find her aim. She let out a frustrated grunt. When she pulled the hammer back to take a wild swing, Dash burst out crying and begging.
“PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!”
Yes, I did not edit this at all. It's like Vietnam all over again.

Pinkie rolled her eyes.  Putting hammer back down, she walked back in front of her friend. She stared pensively at the broken pegasus. Gilda didn’t even cry this much when she stuck that live parasprite down her throat. Pinkie thought for a minute about what to do next. Then there was a sudden spark in her imagination. She grabbed the gear wheel on the rack and laid Rainbow Dash on her back. She moved to Dash’s hind legs, bringing the can with her. Pinkie picked up the hammer again and she drove a searing piece of metal into the bottom of Dash’s hoof. Dash screamed again: Pinkie put one into the other hoof. Next she located the small generator on the tray. Tying the copper wires to the nails, she gave Dash a wink and flipped the switch. Electricity rocketed through Dash’s body.
Ok, that is far beyond nasty. To quote, from 'Beware the easter nigga, charlie brown,' "That's the nastiest shit I've ever heard."
The blue pony reacted immediately; body seized, muscles struck taut. Her hips thrust skyward and her eyes rolled back. She let out a deep, throat shredding cry. Pinkie giggled and danced in place.
Pinkie has a very disturbing mind. Don't they have therapist in Ponyville? Didn't anyone see her show sociopathic tendancies. Oh yeah, and dancing while your friend is in pain, that's real friggin' nice.
She turned up the juice. Dash convulsed uncontrollably. Her bladder emptied once more.

PIECE O' PISS.
After about five minutes, Pinkie shut off the power. The area smelled lightly of cooked flesh and burnt enamel.  She put Dash upright again and tried snap the delirious and drooling pony to back to attention.
“Dash. Daaash. Wake up.” Rainbow Dash managed to give her a modicum of weak acknowledgment.
Pinkie reached into the medicine bag and produced and large syringe. “Alright, time for the last round”
Dash looked at the needle and Pinkie took that as a question as to what it was.
“Something to take the pain away” she informed as she walked around to Dash’s ruined back side. She stuck the needle into the lower part of her spine. Dash flinched.
Man, this is like SAW 3D mixed with ponies. You watch someone awesome get killed in a gruesome way. That person in Saw is Chester Bennington.
Coming to the front again, she told her friend, “In a few minutes, you won’t be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you’ll be able to stay awake to watch the harvest.”
Dash started to cry again. “Pinkie” she trembled out.
“Yeah?”
“I want to go home.” Dash openly sobbed.
“Yeah, I can see wanting to do that.” The party pony replied. “Sometimes, I just wanna give up, say “I’m done with this mess” and go to bed. But you know what; you can’t shrug off your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That’s to the only way you’re gonna get ahead in life.”
OR IN DEATH! KSBUNDIIMJFDNMISINJMDCKLOIJSOPDF

Dash cried.
To quote from Let Down: And the tears faall like raaaaain, down my face agaain.
Minutes passed and the drug took affect. Dash was numb from her chest to her flanks. Aware of this, Pinkie approached with her scalpel. With only a smiling glance to Dash, she made a long cut across her pelvis just above her crotch. Moving up her body, she drew a similar incision under her ribs. One final cut was made down her stomach, connecting the first two.
“Looks like I got my I on you, Dash.”
I DON'T WANNA BE LET DOOOWN, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MY LIFE AGAIN, DON'T WANNA BE LEAD DOWN THE SAME OLD, ROOOOOAD!

With a moist, gooey sound, the new door flapped opened. The sight of her own organs and the lack of feeling caused Dash’s breathing to intensify. Pinkie sliced open the abdominal sac and grabbed the large intestines. Separating it from the rest of the digestive tract and pulling them from the forming cavity, Pinkie was getting jovial and starting making jokes. Dash, growing weaker from the new source of blood loss, tried to shut out the comedy act. Pinkie was laughing.
GIGGLE AT THE GROTESQUE!
“Look at me, I’m Rarity!” she said, slinging the tube around her neck and spreading blood in all directions. “Isn’t my new scarf soooo pretty”?
Simply amaaaazing.
Reaching back in, she cut the smaller intestine off the bowls. Squeezing out the excess excrement, Pinkie filed it through her teeth and dragged it back and forth. “Dentists say you gotta floss every day, Dash.”
Intestines on bowls? Didn't he mean BOWELS? Like when he said CONCISENESS, not CONSCIOUSNESS? God, what an assclown.
Rainbow Dash was barely aware of what was going on anymore. The shock was causing her to fade. Pinkie got disappointed. Diving back into the guts, she ramped up her routine.
“Aw, don’t go yet Dash.” She started pulling out the rest of the organs, stopping at each one. “I know I can be a real painaceas, but you know I’m just kidney with you. You really got to learn to liver it up. Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them.”
I developed a stomach for things like this, and now it ain't working. Now, I need to vomit now.
She placed the discarded body parts into a bucket, keeping the last one for bit longer. “Ooo, bagpipes.” she said, placing the tube in her mouth and the organ in her armpit. A spurt of acid hit her tongue. ”Eww. Oh hey, there’s your cupcake, Dash.”
That's nice, make fucking jokes about someones internal organs in their face. Sergeant Sprinkles should visit the local Mental Asylum
Dash, didn’t hear her. She had slipped from conciseness
CONCISENESS!
minutes ago. Pinkie, not satisfied yet, hit her with another adrenaline shot. Dash woke up for the last time, her heart jumping. Her blood flowed out faster; it wouldn’t be long now.
Pinkie put Dash on her down her back and straddled her chest, scalpel at the ready.
“Ya know, Rainbow Dash, I’m disappointed. I thought you would have lasted longer. I really wanted to spend more time with you before we got here. But I guess it’s my fault, I should have taken it a little slower. Oh well, it was really was nice knowing you, Dash”.
As Nick from L4D2 would say: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The blade sunk into the blue one’s throat and worked its way up her chin. Coming back down, it circled around her neck. The last thing Dash felt was her skin being cut away from her skull, the metal scraping her teeth.
Then she was gone.
FUCK, YOU, SERGEANT SPRINKLES!!

Pinkie Pie stared into the mirror. She did a really good job, even keeping the eyelids. She winked, Dash winked back. Pinkie smiled. But still, she was sad that her friend was now gone. It only lasted fifty minutes, not nearly as long as she wanted. She looked back the cadaver hanging there in the center of the room, the last of its fluids draining in to the pan. Yup, no more Rainbow Dash. Then Pinkie cocked her head. She was starting to take notice of the fact that there really wasn’t that much damage. “It fact”, she began to think “I think….” An idea exploded in her head.
KAAA-BEEEWWWWMM!
She was good at sewing and she had all the pieces, all she had to do put her back together. Yeah, just get some stuffing and bingo, she’d have Rainbow Dash forever. In fact, that’s what she’d do for all her friends when their numbers came up. She was so excited, she skipped over to the body with the skinner to get started. The cupcakes can wait; Pinkie had a friend to make
Ok. That is it. No more of this. There's another ending part, but why bother? This is the worse fanfic I have ever read. Ever. I hate it so much. It is shit, it's about killing Rainbow Dash, it's not well written, and it's fucking vile. That's why I hate it. It's so bad, it put /b/ into tears. It has 15 alt endings, to calm everyone down. There's even a fanfic about it, which, ironically, is the best fanfic I have ever read. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my commentary on this piece of fuck. Goodbye for now.

19 comments:

  1. At least someone else recognizes it sucks... :D

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  2. It sucks because almost no one (99.8%) aren't sadistic fucks that like to write murder stories...

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  3. This review could of been more than 'NO NO PINKIE YOU BASTARD' AND 'SPELLING MISTAAAAAKE', though.

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  4. I read this fic first without your commentary, then I read it again with the commentary. I gotta say I laughed a lot the second time.... A little too much if you ask me.

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  5. Ugh... It was horribly written, the characters were not like the actual characters at all and... I am forgetting the biggest part. IT IS AWFUL AND DISGUSTING GOD DAMN PEOPLE ARE CREEPY I had to skip parts D:

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  6. This seems like nothing after reading "Sweet Apple Massacre"...

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  7. I'm below 18 -- below 13 actually. And this didn't scare me at all. The fanfiction that actually fucked up my head was Sweet Apple Massacre.

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  8. How can you take something seriously when there are so many mistakes?! Honestly, Sweet Apple Massacre scared the living daylights out of me but despite a few "great" moments, this fiction really lacked everything. The author really needs someone to edit it.

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  9. Still can't believe a man called Sergeant Sprinkles killed Rainbow dash also read the spiderses its fucking hilarious!!!
    Sergeant Sprinkles you deserve a well given FUCK YOU from an alien in outer space, LIVE IN HELL MOTHAFUCKA

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  10. How the fuck does Sweet Apple Massacre scare the shit out of you if you relay want to be freak out read Rainbow Factory. You Chicken shits

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    Replies
    1. I don't actually get scared, I just dislike this shit.

      Delete
  11. oh, harpseal. y u so funny and pathetic?

    you have got to be the best troll-feeder I've ever seen. you are the reason why these fics exist. (Well, besides people like me who enjoy gore-porn.)

    It sounds like someone's just FLANKhurt because a trollbrony is messing with her ponies. CANTER you take a joke? I was in STITCHES reading this! Or maybe you just don't have the GUTS to admit you actually like these grimdark fics?

    maybe sadism's just in my BLOOD?

    oh dear, I could go on forever with these guro and pony puns, truly <3

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    Replies
    1. 1: Flankhurt is a bad term. We have Saddlesore.
      2: You come off as a lot more saddlesore than I am.
      3: I disliked Cupcakes, I wasn't scared from it.

      Delete
  12. It's a good thing you were ignorant enough to use the original (that was written in real-time on MLPG) rather than the proofread version, because then you wouldn't have had any spelling mistakes to write about.

    Or maybe you could have just upped the ante with your whining about how the author killed off your precious Rainbow Dash waifu, and how unthinkable it is that a gorefic should contain gore. And some more of those senseless all-caps ramblings and Steam jokes you keep making like the child your MS-Paint banner seems to imply you are.

    And regarding the warning about nightmares and the baseless claim that this fic made /b/ cry en masse; it's worth noting that not everyone is as young and impressionable, or as sensitive and liable to wetting the bed as you have set yourself up to appear.

    Now stop bothering the MLPG.

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    Replies
    1. Non-TL;DR version of my post: Fuck you, asshat.

      TL;DR version: Seriously, you are an absolute asshole. Oh my god, I use an MS Paint banner!

      I don't pirate crap like Photoshop or other stupid shit like that, but even then, that's a fucking pointless reason to assume I'm a child.

      I'm not actually disturbed by Cupcakes. It's a fucking child's story. I don't think a Gorefic shouldn't have Gore, it's just that silly crap like this and half the other fics I read are pointless rape and gore for the sake of pointless rape and gore.

      I use Steam, wow. I made a few jokes about it. I now hate Steam and Valve, and I use Steam because it's an easy way to communicate with people over the world that play games.

      I am an insensitive, unimpressionable pseudo-sadist.

      Wow, I like Rainbow Dash. I honestly couldn't care about the fact she was dying. It could have been fucking Rarity or Fluttershy and I would have had the same reaction.

      All in all, I dislike Cupcakes. Wow. Many ADULT BRONIES also hate it. And you're naive if you think otherwise.

      Also, for the record, what the fuck is MLPG? I actually have no clue.

      Delete
  13. so many people hate this for reasons i have no idea ive read both apple massacre and this 3 times and still dont get anything. some one tell me what is so bad about these

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  14. Hey there Cuckoo! Just wanted to give you a big 'fuck you' from all the people who have better things to do than pathetically search the web for sites to troll on! Go on back to 4chan now, there's a good filly!

    ReplyDelete